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People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used.I can’t believe I am writing this, but I felt I wanted to get some weighted opinions (or perhaps factual) information off my cranium.

That magazine you see in the checkout line of your local supermarket. Yes, you’ve heard this argument before. You’re eyes get entrapped in it with things that you identify with as beautiful, an unfortunate manipulation of beauty that has been instilled inside of you since you saw the Disney princesses waiting for prince charming when you were a child. That may have been a run on sentence, but it had conviction right? That magazine is holding you back from seeing what lipstick glamour can’t seem to teach you.

Beautiful isn’t something you see in the mirror. Your reflection should never dictate your self esteem. Beautiful isn’t wearing a costume for a night out on the town that has the same amount of fabric used in a 3 year old’s halloween costume. Yes it make you feel wild and crazy, mixed with alcohol you probably are screaming ‘YOLO’ and I don’t give a F$%^ about other people’s opinions, but is that beautiful? Instagram photos may compel you to think it is. Seeing friends in situations where they look as if they are repeatedly out and having fun, while appearing to be glamorous may pique your interest just as much as that magazine.

It’s all a lie.

Instagram is fun, but its just another tool, another delivery method to present imagery of what is seen but not perceived. It’s all about perception, and as morals have obviously degraded in our ‘society’ (I absolutely hate that word, but at the time I am writing this, my brain can’t seem to find another word to replace it with.)  we have come glorify the things and love things, instead of loving people and glorifying them. People are being used. You are even using yourself improperly, and perhaps losing your own value, just don’t destroy another’s value in the meantime, and destroy the meaning in which they are trying to create in their own lives. Yes, I may sound crazy but Facebook, Instagram, any type of image delivery method can do this to you if your brain can’t seem to comprehend what those images really mean.

Beauty, is in your confidence.
Beauty, is in your mental toughness and drive.
Beauty, is in your attitude towards your health and body.
Wanting to challenge yourself mentally and physically to your body and mind’s absolutely limit… that is beautiful.
Beauty, is in your character, because your character is going to affect others around your. From strangers, to family members or to children, a strong character and a strong conviction for resolve in times of crisis… that is beautiful.

That said.

Shut up, you are beautiful. Throw away the magazines, and everything you were taught to see as ‘beautiful’. Why? Because we are destroying our future. We are using each other, and instructing our kids to act to be more monetarily successful, then to be resourceful and kind to the people around us. Why… Because we all have a definition of what is wrong of what is beautiful. Beautiful is seeing a noble gesture, or a selfless act of kindness without any want of recognition. Beautiful is staying loyal to one another, and staying calm in times of crisis, and working through the pains of life together, to be able to affect positive outcomes around us in any type of situation. That is beautiful.

It has to start in our simplest relationships. This next portion will be from my perspective as a man. So here is my letter to women, to those women who see the magazines, and wish they had the same wardrobe and purse as the most popular Kardashian. This is my letter to those women who wish to have their knight in shining armor suddenly appear out of the clouds, and into their lives as their long lost Disney infused Prince Charming. This is for the women who let the whispers of others’ stereotypes sneak into their thoughts that a man can never be perfect, to when really, no one really is. However, that photoshopped magazine has you thinking there is. The filtered injected photos on instagram have you fooled that the grass is greener for someone else every night, so why can’t it be for you too.

It would be beautiful if I didn’t have to write this post to get feelings on this subject out of my head. Hit the reset button you know on beauty, perhaps when that adjusts maybe you will see something beautiful in yourself… and him.

Dear Females,

Prince Charming was a lie. Whomever told you he existed, was lying to you even worse than the lie you were told about Santa being real when you were small. If it makes you feel any better, we will just say that Prince Charming aka the Knight in Shining Armor you were expecting, actually got into a fight with Santa and all of his reindeer. They ended up killing each other with plunging swords and antlers.

I’m going to burst your bubble, even though you already know this already, so you try to hopelessly and even rigidly protect your heart by proclaiming that ‘all men are pigs’ or ‘men or jerks’, or ‘men are dogs’. I’m going to tell you another secret, those aren’t true either.

Yes, SOME men can be absolute douche bags, but if you ever had hoped to find Prince Charming, you wouldn’t believe that all men are pigs.

Here’s the thing.

There is a man out there, somewhere willing to give every piece of his being for you. He isn’t perfect, perhaps he is gassy, or his teeth are a slightly yellow of a tint then you would like (even though he takes care of himself), or perhaps he doesn’t talk with the same linguistics, or even has the type of job that you would prefer seeing a defined ‘successful’ man in. However, he would do anything for you. He would change things for you because he wants to be in your atmosphere.

He would tell you that you are beautiful, even when you don’t feel at your best, however your write him off as ‘just saying that because he has to’. That’s not fair. There are men that are willing to give you every moment they have to help you improve your life as well as theirs. There is a man out there that would help take some of the burden off your shoulders, even when he doesn’t drive the nicest car. There is a man out there that is willing to cherish you, and try new things to keep you smiling, even if he doesn’t have the best taste in clothing.

Yet you shun him because he perhaps doesn’t have the look that you saw standing next to the girl whom you found glamorous, in the magazine. Once you have found that man, never let him go either.

You will discover if you do let him go, that you perhaps never knew that you had someone who was selfless enough to work through issues, swallow his pride, and uplift you even when he was sinking. Even if he sacrificed his own value. He would move mountains to make sure your relationship worked, and he would help you to understand that every lovingly, tearful scene in the movie ‘The Notebook’ can be real, perhaps just not as dramatic.

However, you have to give this man a fair chance. Whether you want to label him as a soul mate, or someone simply who understands; I want you to know it won’t always be fun. You won’t always be in love with him, but when he is willing to be strong for you, and for your relationship, and work for what’s best for both of you, you will learn that falling in love is possible multiple times with the same person. However, you have to give him a fair chance.

I’ve heard so many women say: “there is no Mr. Right”, or “chivalry is dead”.

It’s not dead, your just looking in the wrong section in the book store.

He is there, and he will love you and not just because you have a vagina. You just need to give him a fair chance, and once he does… know that if you were to ever lose that feeling, you may never find the sincerity again.

Anthony Tanaka

PS. For men: Don’t be an asshole to women, and make everything I said above about you look as if it came from an absolute tool. Much appreciated.